The Joy of Shopping

The joy of shopping is diminishing.

I used to dream about going to the mall and creating all kinds of outfits on someone else’s dime. I would buy all the trends I wanted without regard for how much I would actually wear the stuff. I could go all day with the possibilities of what I wanted. I would even wish I was Clarissa Explains It All and I would blink and change outfits. I would buy tank tops for $12.99 at TJMaxx and wear them once. I would buy 8 pairs of similar black pants and rotate them on the weekends. I would play dress-up at the age of 17. I would even sift through miles of clearance racks and aisles at Filenes and be happy with one gem per rack.

Now… Things are different. I have a hard time admitting this, but shopping isn’t that great anymore. I actually do a lot of my shopping online now because I hate going to a mall and parking and walking around and wasting time... I bought every Xmas gift I gave this year online. I actually think I get better deals too b/c I wont press Place Order until I google a coupon a code that works. And they never carry the tall sizes in the stores so I usually get better fits online too.

Last nite, after going back to the dark side with goth hair, I went to the Gap, Old Navy and American Eagle (in that order). I started at the Gap, which was so bare that even the favorite tees stacked in multi-colored assortments at the front looked more suited to a tucking in the way back of the store locale. But the point is that the Gap is very plain. Which normally I love and enjoy and appreciate. But when you get down to it, don’t they just recycle the same marled turtleneck and merino v-neck sweaters every year? They didn’t even HAVE a pair of skinny jeans. It was all the same bootcut styles of yesteryear. So I went to Old Navy.

Now, this particular Old Navy usually carries an assortment of very large and very small sizes. Last night, however, I couldn’t find a 4 long skinny jean to save my life. And GASP they still were selling acres of racks with FLARES! Ah. It was almost unbearable. I tried on a pair of 4 regular and an XS champagne colored tank top with tiers of sequined ruffles… only because it was marked .97 cents. Oh yes. But alas, it was too small. And I knew my friend K was on her deathbed miles away in CT and wouldn’t get a pic message if I sent it to her asking if she wanted me to grab it for her. So back on the racks it went.

Next I went to American Eagle. I stopped at the entrance and looked in… all the girls looked the same. They were all wearing American Eagle. They were all 21 and younger. They all had pin straight hair and were skinny. The boys? They looked like they had walked out of the Abercrombie catalog. As I walked in, I heard two girls talking about someone they knew: “Yep, she’s engaged.” “To who?” “(Name mumbled).” “Well, that’s not surprising because she’s not pretty. (laughter) AT ALL. So I’m not surprised.”

I walked right out.

The problem is that I feel caught between the style icon I would like to be and the 9-5er that I actually am.

I feel stuck in between juniors and women’s at department stores, yet I’m outgrowing the usual staples.

I feel caught in the trap of either not wanting to pay more than $40 for anything and finding that I don’t like anything cheaper than that anymore.

It all, needless to say, makes for an unenjoyable shopping experience.

If I had the money, I would buy Proenza Schouler skirts, Michael Kors sweaters and Miss Sixty jeans all day long. I would buy JCrew coats and swimsuits. Max Azria work clothes and Zac Pozen dresses. Balenciaga and Dior bags. Hermes scarves to tie around said bags. Juicy Couture tracksuits. Coach wristlets. And Jimmy Choo shoes.

As Car and I discussed, I think I need to start playing the lottery. Or at least driving to H&M and other malls. Because I cant stay in this stagnant state of shopper’s un-delight.

I love fashion too much for this.