We are by far the greatest dynasty football team in league history and yet, we can’t go no respect. What is up with that? First, everyone called the Chargers. Now, everyone is calling the Colts. WHY? Have you not witnessed the last 6 years that is Belichick geniosity?
Today I’m going to have a nephew. I think. Amy went in yesterday for 7pm right before the storm to have a little snow angel. Caitlin and I texted each other to say a little prayer at exactly 7pm so I did while walking Murph. It was a winter wonderland of snow and beautiful, crisp cold
Later that night, I told M, if my phone rings, I have to get up and answer it. And as even K knows, I could sleep through a fire alarm, but M… M will hear a mouse 3 flights down. But instead I woke up to the alarm. Hmmm… Could it be that the little angel is ripping his mom a new one with a 24+ labor experience from hell? Could it be that they are all just exhausted and sleeping happily. I choose to believe the latter. But I did just get all the facts and its somewhere in between. No Alex yet, but they’re still trying to induce labor. Mom is not in any pain. In fact, she says she doesn’t feel much of anything, except pressure and she’s not on any meds yet. Lucky her.
Last night, I got home to a dead Morty. Or so I thought. I banged on the tank and my favorite betta of all time didn’t move. He was completely void of color, except maybe a brownish yellow gray, and he appeared to be floating near the top. I texted M the sad news. Then a few minutes later, I saw a twitch. And another twitch. So then I felt the water… I think he was freezing to death. So brainiac that I am, I get out a small bowl, fill it with spring water and microwave it. I plan on putting him in the warm water to shock him back to life. M calls right before I’m about to make my move. WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY? Don’t do that… just take some cold water out of the tank and refill it with warm water. Just to raise the temp of the tank but not to shock him. OH DUH! Great idea. So I boiled some spring water and let it cool and threw it in there. I’m not kidding… not more than 5 minutes later, my good old Mortimer was swimming around like a crazy fish. He was hoopin and hollerin like a young haddock. I was so excited! I brought a fish back to life! Can I put that on my resume?
Being in a relationship is a very interesting thing, isn’t it? Sometimes you have those moments, when everything seems so wrong and exhausting. But for some reason, sometimes it can be followed by the most wonderful moment, full of complete easiness. Last night, M and I had an argument and yet, when he came to bed, I rolled over and said, “Don’t you think it’s weird that even when we aren’t getting along, even in the most awful fights we’ve had, I still love you more than I ever have. Don’t you think that’s a sign or something?”
“You’re so full of crap.”
Oh those priceless moments.
Today’s Classic Email Correspondence Amongst Friends: “douche. where the f are you.”
Today’s Wikipedia Gem: “In 2003, the New England Patriots released popular safety Lawyer Milloy, who signed with the Buffalo Bills and helped his new team shutout
Today’s Favorite Voice Message: “Hope you’re having a cool day!”
5 comments:
Good news about the fish and even better news to hear about the soon to be delivered family member. And just so you know, babies are a lot more sturdy then you might think. You should hold him. I'm positive his head won't fall off. :)
Good Luck with the baby.
And congrats on the fish. I ALSO bang on my fishtank everyday just to make sure Harrison is still alive.
I should've called you when my beta, Vinny T shit the bed. Poor thing. You could've totally revived him.
I think everyone is about to freeze to death. Come and resuscitate me, goddamit!
Oh yeah...the relationship dialogue was hilarious... hello, reality
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