“and no i don't care about your teeth. HA, jk, no i just had no comment. sorry didn't mean to offend your toofies.”

“and obv i wanted to make sure that he didnt think i was "like that." which is a hard argument to make when i already "did that" but whatEVER.”

“Did I mention that Rob and I are going as Britney and K-Fed for Halloween?? Oh yes...”

This morning I had a web analytics mtg at 8:30am, which was interesting. I realized that marketing seems so nebulous to me because IT IS NEBULOUS… at BEST. So now I don’t feel so bad. And did I tell you guys I am thinking about getting my MBA here now? They give you 2 free classes in the Graduate School of Management per semester after being here a full year. Hi. Me. English major. MBA.

Ps. I met my clone at my old job. I was like, she is wearing the same shirt I just bought at Express! How amazing is that? She looks like me with blonde hair. And DJ pointed out too how similar she looks, “only she has a giant back yard.” Ha. I have pancake ass. And I’m proud. Actually, no I just only realized it on like, Saturday. Need to find new jeans.

When I walked in the old workplace, I felt this sense of Ugh. Gross. I walked in and everyone was sooo happy to see me and I was like, Oh hi. Sup. I didn’t miss it at all and my boss couldn’t really meet with me because she forgot that she had a meeting and it was a big mess. DJ was still complaining about how much she gets paid. The CFO was making corny jokes. My boss was so overwhelmed that she didn’t remember her own name. And the place still had that inexplicable staleness.

Last nite I watched the best episode of Sex and the City ever. The best one. I think I can safely state that… it’s the one where Carrie dates Power Lad, the guy who lives with his parents. Best line in a series EVER: “But if they see the chicken, they’re gonna know, they’re gonna know we were smoking the pot.” She is so hysterically funny at that moment that it makes me happy to just be in my living room watching it. And Charlotte gives Trey the hydraulic penis idea from the web. And JUGGS? Ha. Genius stuff.

I met the President of the University today. He is very warm and he asked me to be a part of the marketing group he’s assembling on campus. Sweet. Sign me up.

Today’s Semi-Disappointment: I used Dior and tried to line my eyes like K does. Only it kinda hurt. I was so stunned by the weird hurt that my eyes welled up so the waterproof liner really had no chance in hell. Maybe it takes practice. But I did line the upper lid after that and it came out beautiful. It really looked better than the Estee Lauder black. Inexplicably.

I got the Gap coat yesterday and it’s awesome. //www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=7430&pid=395378 I really love it. Detachable HOOD! HELLO! Except it was just a teeny bit too small. Like small in the shoulders. Which is weird b/c I debated between a S and a M and eventually read that the Tall size is built for a woman 5’11”+ so I was like, well I will go with the S b/c I don’t want it to be gigantic! So now I have to pay to have it returned (I paid $8 to have it shipped) and then they ship me the exchange for free. I’m going to see if M can ship it from his work for free. But I want that coat. STAT.

Today’s Inside Joke: PS I totally bought brilliantine with the black nail polish online. You need to know that black nail polish is so hot that you can’t even find it anywhere. Chanel is sold out and so is Sephora. Now that should explain it all, like Clarissa.

Today’s Other Inside Joke: Biff definitely believes in the power of conjugal visits.

Today’s Goal: To make brownies tonite prior to Project Runway finale.

Today’s Assignment: You need to text me when you find Laguna is running a whole catch up marathon. I have only seen like one complete episode of this season and I am determined to watch it. Even though I’ve heard it’s not nearly as good as the original cast, I refuse to secede from the union. You know you watch it too so STFU.

Its Wednesday. So that means I will be posting again on Friday. Seems to be a theme going on here, no?