The nag versus the hare

So M and I had another argument last night. And the problem seems to be this (from his point of view): I am a nagger. I nag him. A lot. (From my point of view?) I host discussions on things that I think are in our best interest as a couple and when I feel like I’m getting nowhere, I’ll bring it up again.

Topic of contention? Going to see a doctor/dentist.

M was without health insurance for 8 years+. Yes. Have you even gone that long without health insurance? NO. So now that he has had it for 8 months, I figured he would have been seen by now. Just a physical to check things out. Just a cleaning… NOPE. And my intentions are good. I just want him to be healthy so we can live a long happy life together. Is that really so wrong? So I tend to ask him about it periodically, which in M time translates to daily. Which, well, I’m sure you can see where this is going…

But the problem is that M is the type of person who would rather bleed within an inch of his death rather than go sit in the ER. Me? I’m at the doctor’s approx once per 3 months. Hi. Me again. Got a rash. Sup with it? Hi. My back is effed. Any thoughts? Seriously. Its almost a joke how much I go to the doc. I’m a wellness person, proactive. M is a only if I’m approx dead will I allow myself to go see a professional type.

The point is that M has over 3 huge scars on his face b/c he would not go to the ER post-bar fights. He should have, no doubt, received many stitches over the years, been looked at by a plastic surgeon to correct his twice broken nose, had his stomach looked at… among various other things. And gotten a cleaning with some fillings for crying out loud. Why wait til that little cavity feeling you have becomes a full blown root canal? Why wait?!

Is this a case of female versus male attitudes? Or am just crazy? Because I don’t get it. AT ALL.

So now that this is a huge source of anger in our relationship, I realized that I have fucked it up even more. Because not only is M the type of person to avoid the doctors office at all costs, but he is also the type of man who when shoved, will shove back with four times the force, i.e. because I’ve nagged him to see a doctor/dentist, he will likely put it off another 8 years per nag session. Stubborn much?

Another wrench to throw in there? He had actually called his family’s doctor months ago to get an appointment and was told that doctor was not accepting new patients at the time. So he did give it the old college effort and it failed. And never tried again. Also, the one time I did get him to the ER – 10 days before he had health insurance – he was thrown a $1000 bill for about 5 seconds. A doctor looked at his neck and slapped him antibiotics – a spider bite of some kind. $1000 later… he still hasn’t paid it off.

So I can get why he’s disenchanted with the medical field… I can understand that. But I cant understand why he just wont do it. JUST FUCKING DO IT.

Ahhh, there’s the contention. I need to change the way I communication this overwhelming sense of bafflement. Otherwise, I will be staring down the hole of singledom, which really, isn’t sounding too bad at this point. At least if I’m single, I wont be called a nag.

Today’s Well Thought Out Position on Immigration: I oppose it for ONLY two reasons. 1, it has made America a nation of extreme poverty. And 2, because if all the intelligent people who have immigrated to the US had instead, stayed the course and worked towards change in their respective countries, the world would be a more stable place. If you gave up on your country, and came to the US, and went to college and became a successful part of the human race, you have robbed your home country of a quality person, a person who could have made a change and helped thousands of other people. Instead, you took the easy way out and ran. And that’s primarily why the world sucks ass right now.

Today’s Progress Report on my Head: STILL CLOUDY. But my nose is not giving up the runniness.

Today’s Goal in Life: To improve the quality of my character.