Blog From the Past...

Funny how my MORAL OF THE STORY is null and void. As we speak, I am on the committee to plan my class of 1997 reunion for the day after Thanksgiving, no less.

But here's the thing: My class is amazing. We all got along well. There really wasnt a big divide amongst cliques. We were cool. And so I think our reunion will be cool... AS LONG WE WE DONT HAVE IT AT A CRAPPY HOTEL.

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Monday, November 28, 2005

Blind Mice Current mood: tired Should I do this as a blind vice thing? To protect names from the class of 95? Well: the reunion. I don’t know where to start... so I think I’ll just recap the day in order as I remember it. Hold on. It’s a long one... Matt’s mom calls @ 9:30am so we had to wake up bright & early & clean the apt because she was bringing the boys over (Matt’s nephews). They were great & we had a really nice time with them. The little one melts my heart, he’s so sweet. But why do I mention this? Because they ended up staying later than we thought (we were glad, of course, because it was fun...) but I, like most girls, need at least a full hour to get ready. At this point, we still had to go to my mom’s and wash (and DRY) Matt’s shirt and get my bro to tie his tie. And, most importantly, ride Matt’s new ATV. So time was a hot commodity on Saturday. By the time we got back up the apt, we had about 45 minutes to get ready and get outta there to our friend’s, lets call them... wait. I can call them by their real names because I love both of them: Tim and Jenny’s house. By the time we got to their house to pregame it, I was flushed from running around like a crazy person and everyone there was starting the: WHY ARE WE EVEN GOING TO THIS THING? talk. (I wish now, I had pushed more for the NOT GOING myself at this point... but I didn’t pay for my $45 ticket and I’m not even part of this high school class so I kept my mouth shut and at this point, I just really wanted a nice dinner.) So we get to the hotel about 45 minutes late and it seems like we’re some of the first people to arrive. Everyone is hugging and kissing Matt on the cheek and he’s doing a good job at introducing me. But it feels weird to watch him kiss a girl on the cheek. I don’t know. Just weird. Some people were wearing jeans so we felt a little overdressed. And some girls were wearing prom dresses so we felt sorry for them. There was a foreign exchange student there. HOW THE?? One guy in particular stands out in probably everyone’s mind—I’ll call him Former Ladies Man. Well, FLM came up to us in the drink line and gave me a kiss on the cheek: Hi Sweetie (do I KNOW YOU?) and hugged Matt. Tight. (he hugged him about 5 more times throughout the night and told him he really, REALLY loved him, man.) Another random long haired guy half hugged me (do I KNOW YOU?) and later talked about how “the crew” used to hang out together at the Blarney Stone. Honestly, in all my nights at the Blarney, I DO NOT remember this kid. Not at all. Blank stare met with Matt’s blank stare slash, Jill, be nice... look. So I was sitting at the table, drinking, while Matt was looking at me like, GET UP FROM THE TABLE PLEASE - NO ONE ELSE IS SITTING - EVERYONE IS SOCIALIZING. What? I looked around. Yep, he was right. I was the ONLY one sitting at this point. Ugh. Here’s the thing: I’m good at entertaining myself. I can chill by myself. I’ll just chill and sip my drink and relax, take in the scene... I’m cool. Matt. Well, he apparently doesn’t want me doing that. He wants me to talk to people. Well I don’t know anyone. And I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I just wanted him to socialize and I was trying not to be in the way so he could have fun. Communication can be a bitch sometimes. Know what else can be a bitch? PROSTITUTES. Yep. FLM brought himself a hired hand. And a girl in my class (who was there with her hubby) passed along the theory of the night that he is in fact not a ladies man, but a guys guy and brought the prostitute as a cover story. I’m not one to spread rumors. But I can see how others believed in this theory. (He was wearing a very metrosexual outfit and he is very handsome.) Said prostitute actually wrapped her drunk ass arms around my man and dragged him across the dance floor at one point as I watched in horror from my seat at the table. And the girl from my class actually told me that the prostitute’s BOOB popped out onto her dinner table. She was hitting on men and women. And she even put her hand on the top of my head while she was walking by me because she was stumbling like a moron. Bitch, put your hands on me or Matt one more time I will break them. Lets just say I spent about 85f the time in the hallway of the hotel on my cell phone, relaying the horrors on the night to my friends and playing message tag with Adrienne, standing outside in sub zero temps cooling off, and in the bathroom on the opposite side of the building, hiding, admiring my lip gloss in the mirror. One girl in a prom dress from RAVE and shoes from PAYLESS and her hair DID—we’ll call her the RIDDLER—came up to Matt and I and we couldn’t understand a damn thing she was saying. He kept whispering to me, WHAT? And I was like, I DON’T KNOW. And then we’d be like, UH-HUH to her so she thought we knew what she was talking about... After I thought about it, I think she was implying that she slept with Matt because she asked if we were together and then said OOPS and we both just looked at each other and laughed in her FACE hysterically and read each other’s mind to grab our drinks and head out for a much-needed break after a TERRIBLE, disgusting dinner. Dinner: French onion soup (yea, that’s just what you want people’s breath to smell like all night) with bread and melted mozzarella cheese on top. A few specs of lettuce under a pile of black olives. Chicken stuffed with orange shit, florescent glow in the dark green broccoli and hard red potatoes. Apple crisp with canned apples and I swear, Kellogg’s Honey Oat Clusters on top with whip cream. Cold. The best part was the bread and butter. Really good. You could tell even the waiters wanted to get the fuck out of dodge because they kept grabbing your plates even if you weren’t finished. Ugh. It was all so silly. And pointless. And the DJ didn’t even have Confessions on a Dance Floor. What the HELL is up with that? I think even Matt was praying he’d play Madonna just to cheer me up. But we did dance a little... on the carpet next to the dance floor because we’re cool like that. We don’t get on the actual hard floor to dance. We just half ass it on the side. One guest I really like actually straight faced told me, Wow, the girls in this class are all ugly. UGLY. Ha ha. Yep. I’m with ya on that one. One former cheerleader told Matt that she has a baby now... but the Dad’s not really in the picture. She introduced him as her “baby daddy”. Seriously. Another guy, we’ll call BBall told Matt he was taking home the 50 year old bartender. This is the same guy who tried to take home the prostitute first but decided there was too much competition for her. Late into the night, we were outside and one of Matt’s friends walked up to us... How was dinner? Dude, you’re a little late. This guy had a black eye that looked like it actually hurt. He got into a bar fight in Southie the night before. He was wearing a really nice leather coat, smoking a butt and looked like he had some stories to tell. He was living in Arizona now. I really liked him. A girl who used to do a lot of drugs (she told me that herself) actually asked me if I’ve ever done ROBUTUSSIN as an INHALANT. Um... Really? Matt, did she REALLY just ask me that? All I got was the Jill, be nice look again. Ahh. So about 20 minutes of trying to get the caravan out the door capped off with a HUGE we CANT FIND OUR KEYS dilemma, we were out. By the time we got home it was around 1am and my contacts were sticking to my eyeballs. I had to get home. Matt wanted to stay. I was out. The moral of this story? DON’T GO TO YOUR 10 YEAR REUNION. In fact, don’t go to any of them. Spare yourself. My outfit: Black pinstripe trousers. Gold silk tank top from Express with sequins along the v-neckline. Black velvet blazer from the GAP. Tiny gold hoop earrings. Gold tanzanite ring. Black Nine West kitten heels. Hair down and wavy. White eye shadow at inner corners of eyes to brighten and thin line of black liner along lashline. Dessert cotton candy lip gloss. Prada bag.