Good God this is HYSTERICAL!

The car: A fully loaded SUV

What the car says about its owner: More often than not, an SUV driver is an organized person who might even be a bit of a paranoid pack-rat, Dr. Orbuch says. “AN SUV driver probably has everything from freeze-dried energy bars to emergency flares in the truck space,” she explains. The 4-wheel-drive tells you that this person wants to be prepared for both emergencies and for spontaneous adventures—a bit of a paradox, isn’t it? Dr. Orbuch notes that this person enjoys control and likes to be at the top of his or her game, whether it be sports, work, family, or trivia and ultimately is a motivated, energetic, and passionate person.

What the car says about its owner’s love style: “An SUV driver likely prefers his or her partners to also be organized, although it’s doubtful you can meet their standards in that department,” says Dr. Orbuch. She notes that the driver probably won’t mesh well with partners who lack a zest for life: “This person is looking for someone with a sense of adventure and even a bit of unpredictability—but chances are, he or she will have an extra toothbrush for you in case you forget yours!”