Over Compensation

Here’s something:

How do you tell someone you just don’t want to be friends with them anymore? And really, you were only friends to begin with due to proximity and circumstance, not really any genuine show of affection or commonality. So now that those circumstances have changed dramatically… time to let go.

Really.

I mean, this person called me three times in 5 minutes – AT WORK. Following up no doubt with an email. To my WORK address. And above and beyond all that, this person wants me to provide something for them that I have no inclination in providing due to the fact that it puts me in a very awkward position and goes completely against my own conscience. Am I being dramatic here? No. Look. I cant possibly ignore this much longer. This person doesn’t seem to be getting the “hints” that I am sending, i.e., not ever returning a call back or emailing. I need to figure out a way to handle this gracefully. But does such a way exist? Is there any way to handle this without hurting the other person? I really don’t want to hurt them at all. They’re perfectly fine and have a healthy support system of their own entirely. It’s just some weird connection that this person is trying to upkeep. Probably for their own regard… I don’t know. I cant figure it out.

Also, enough of this half-ass weather pattern. I either want it straight up 20s with feet of snow coming my way or 50s with sun. I cannot possibly handle this rain/snow/40s bullshit much longer. Something has to give there. I am either a snow sport girl or a spring mountain bike rider. All this mud and rain and dampness is not good for my waistline or my psyche. Nothing is worse than bad weather 6 weekends in a row that is neither conducive to skiing or to hiking and makes me a shut-in.

This weekend I did little more than bake vanilla/cinnamon scones and chocolate chip cookies and deep fry zucchini in bread crumbs and romano cheese and drive around with M looking at houses for sale in our price range. Either we need to save a lot more money to avoid PMI and living in debt or we will be living in a DUMP. Or as we like to call it, DUMP CITY. One place out in the woods had laquered paint so thick on the windows we both laughed hysterically, until we realized the property was in fact still occupied then ran back to the truck shameless, feeling horrible we were so loud about our disgust. Seriously. I’m now watching the fed interest rate cuts with a concern that I’ll either be able to make this happen or I wont. Who knew it would be that critical? Who knew that interest rates made such a huge different in mortgage products? If we can somehow get down to a 5.0 fixed, I think I would wet myself.

Not that living in a dump and rehabbing it would be the worst thing for us. We’re young, able. We know how to do a lot of remodel work (cant be that hard, right?) and have many friends in trades that have already said they would help us – a million times. But when you dream about something for so long and you make sacrifices that many folks don’t have to make, you feel obliged to make it happen a certain way. But we’re going to remain flexible, hoping we can find the right balance. Maybe a slightly less perfect home will be on the market at the right time for us and we’ll be able to manage it. We’ll keep moving forward and hope fate steps in for us.

Last week was pretty incredible so I apologize for the lack of updates and entries. I find that the more dramatic and busy I am, the less I feel the urge (or have the capacity perhaps) to write about it. But sometimes things in life are just so fleeing and fast that I just don’t bother to blog it – I just commit it to memory and no sooner do I experience it than it is gone and lost. So last Friday was just one day like that. And it was good. And I’m even more thrilled it’s passed.

Happy St. Patty’s Day!