Sleeping to Dream

You know what’s the best part about going to bed? The possibility that you will get a full, no interruptions restful sleep. You know what’s the most annoying part about going to bed? The fact that you only get that about 2% of the time. Or is that just me?

Because for the last two nights, I have tossed and turned and fought for covers and heard Matt complain about covers, heard the noisy garbage truck emptying the garbage bin right outside our window at the buttcrack of 4:30am... and the sleep just hasn’t come easy. We haven’t slept in 4 days, really. Its been stressful lately.

But, everyone, hold the applause, he got the job! And like all good news, it comes in pairs... I sold out like a mo’ fo’... Seriously, my sister sold 25 pairs of my earrings at work yesterday, which happened to be the entire box. I also got asked to design a logo for another company (because my business cards impressed) and asked to possibly design bridesmaid earrings for a wedding. Aint that the shit?

Last night, though, amidst hours of non-sleeping, I have a dream that seriously makes me smile right now. I’m almost embarrassed to tell you guys. I mean, I’m pretty honest about everything, but this is really, um... bad. Ok. Now that I’ve set you up, I’ll tell ya.

I had a dream that I was dating Nick Lachey. He was over my apt and we left to go to Rietta Ranch (for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s the pit of flea markets). So we go outside to get into my truck and I see Jessica Simpson, walking along, holding a bag up by her head, so we wont see her. And I feel bad for her. So bad, in fact, that I offer Nick the option of asking her to come with us and he declines, telling me he has his piano and video games to distract him from her. And I insist, because like all of us, I secretly want them to get back together. (Do you not believe this shit? Well, I’m creative, but even I cannot make this shit up). So she gets in the front with him and I get in the back! Ha. And guess who we pick up along the way... PARIS HILTON. Now, I know, you’re dying right now... right? Ha ha. Well, ok. Jessica asks her if she has some pot and she was like, no, but I have a contact in Connecticut I could call. That must be close to where we are, right? And I’m like, laughing, because CT is not close and then I notice something... her feet are HUGE. Like giant feet in these pink heels and I’m like, GROSS. So I stay away from her in the back of the car until we get there. And here comes the real kicker, we get there and I realize that I am the GEEKIEST UGLIEST GIRL ON THE PLANET. Seriously, I am wearing glasses that are like bottle caps. I have big giant high waisted bright blue jeans that are so big around the waist, I have to keep pulling them up and I paired them with a red plaid shirt. And I’m like, what am I doing dressed like this with these people?

And that’s where I wake up.

Today’s Lesson: Don’t listen to Nick Lachey’s new song before going to bed. “You can have, what’s left of meeeeeeeeeee...”

Today’s Reminder That I Have Variable Taste In Music: I bought Paul Simon’s new CD off iTunes. Smart lyrics = Very smart music. I’m a huge fan. This is right up there, just underneath Madonna. That’s how much I love Paul Simon. Ker, I think you were the one who showed me the light that was Graceland... no? Maybe that was my brother.

Today’s Tally on How Everyone is Doing: 2 unexpectantly expectant moms-to-be, one broken heart (by a cocksucking bastard that deserves to die a painful death for being THE WORLDS BIGGEST DICK), one hurricane, one hellbent designer hellbent on selling stuff at a craft fair, one homeless person (ok, not really, I just put that in there to keep everyone’s problems in perspective), one newbie returning to the work force (welcome back, le le, enjoy the misery), one jobless waitress (buh-bye grant-funded position), and ONE BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BIRTHDAY GIRL!

ALL HAIL BFF! QUEEN OF MAY 16th. WELCOME BACK, KITTEN. LUVS YA. Call me when you wake up.