Back to WHAT? What do I do again?

“I am in too much pain to WRITER?”

Great, thanks, MEDS.

The thing about having time off from work is that you get a little torn up. You wake up late with that unmistakable drugged to the point of if you had to pee in the middle of the night, you would just shake the feeling off and go back to bed undaunted and yet, you kind of feel like you should be DOING stuff, regardless. You’re free. Its sunny and 70 out. You have a dog and a bike. You have dirty laundry. You have 3 days off with a Doctor’s note (Hi, are we in elementary school? Should I be asking for the bathroom pass next?) but you are just uncomfortable as HELL. You cant do anything. You just effing CANT. Especially because when you try to drive, you realize that that’s a terrible idea because when you come to a stop sign, you cant check LEFT at all without a shooting pain. So there you have it.

That really tears you up. Its conflicting. You may try to push yourself and make the best peanut butter and chocolate fudge ever, but not without feeling like your neck is stiff as a board and you should be just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling with a rolled up towel under your neck.

Back to work I go and I’m like, so tired from the MEDS that I really cant even see that good. I know that sounds weird but my vision is all effed up. Even with my glasses on. Though this morning I get outside to my car, let it warm up and start to pull out of the parking lot, when I totally realize: I CANT SEE. I didn’t have my glasses on. Left them in the apt. Yikes. But as I went back up to my apt, I remembered that I didn’t feed Morty either so I did that too while I was there. Guess I’m suddenly retardo.

Did I ever tell you guys that I eat spinach every day, wrapped around carrots even though I HATE spinach? Yep. I’m thinking about giving it up and taking up Scientology instead. Something. I cant go back to Catholicism because I hate it and I don’t have the discipline to practice a simple existence (ie, Buddhism) but I feel like this is a good time to be spiritual. What religion should I try? Seriously. Kabbalah? Sounds too complicated & expensive, doesn’t it? What else is there? Jewish? Could I be Jewish? What is Southern Baptist all about?

Today’s Mission to my Readers: Convert me.

It sucks on your first day back DRUGGED UP TO THE MAX you have a meeting with the CEO and she asks you to report to everyone in Administration about two events: the art show and an upcoming reunion. Um... there’s a reunion? Art show? What art show? Um... I’m drowning. I have no idea what my password to log onto my computer is, nevermind the final amount we raised and the details we need to get closure on in the next 15 minutes.

FUCK.

What do I do? Just pretty much shake my head up and down and ramble on for a good 5 minutes before the CEO cuts me off. Nice. When she talks, it sounds like WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH... I have no idea what went on in that meeting and I hope it never comes back to bite me in the ass.

I don’t even know what day this is. Thursday? Yep. Pretty sure its Thursday.

And both my undershirt and my underwear are inside out. Just noticed that.

I hope everyone is in better shape than I am. M is broken out in poison ivy all over his body and just got the ER bill for that visit 10 days prior to getting health insurance and you don’t even want to know how much it was for: a 5 minute, oh, looks like a rash to me visit for = $950. Almost a thousand bucks. Because he makes too much money to qualify for financial assistance. And this is fucking AMERICA and M is an AMERICAN. Do you believe this shit? The fucking health care system is a travesty.

I cant wait to pick up my engagement ring to MYSELF. That ring is so damn pretty. I can pick it up Friday. So I’ll be sure to post a picture of that shit.

And BFF is talking about moving to Texas in August. I effing hate that. But whatever. If it makes her happy, I’ll get over my selfishness and start a frequent flier program.

Madonna is in less than 10 days. I cant believe how quick that has come upon us. EFFING 9 DAYS MOTHER EFFERS.

Seriously. I am going to stop writing because this is just getting pathetic.