What can I tell ya about today?

Well, I ordered 6 8" tables with 60 chairs from the tent company for the company picnic. I got 4 6" tables & 36 chairs. WTF.

I carried a whole table down from the 3rd floor conference room to underneath the tent outside on the lawn by myself. What up, muscles?

I want to kick the weather gods in the balls for the Sunday forecast we have right now.

One co-worker is on the phone right now about going to a craft fair in Sturbridge on Sunday. Oh, RLY. There are 2 things wrong with this: 1, she knows I make jewelry so if she wants to buy some, you would think she might ask me to bring stuff in. 2, she knows I do the farmers market so it would have been nice to hear about this craft fair ahead of time so we might have gotten in on it. THANKS ASSBAG.

Another co-worker found out she’s having a baby BOY today. Congrats to her.

Another co-worker asked me to notarize a custody paper that says her mom has custody should DSS want to take her kid away while she is in the hospital. Oh, RLY. Did you confuse NOTARY for ATTORNEY? Cuz I cant help ya, lady. BYE.

Yesterday, it took me 45 minutes to get digital x-rays of my TEETH. 45 minutes. Hi, thanks, technology for SUCKING THE BIG ONE.

Same bitch ass craft co-worker from above is on the phone, talking about how bad the THUNDER is outside even though it is SHINING SUN outside. Oh, RLY? THUNDER? Try the trash cans are being moved from one end of the parking lot to the other. STUPID ASS. (Seriously, am I the only person who works with idiots or what?)

My grand-pappy is in the ER. Think some good thoughts.

I’m disowning my dog today. Called my bro & told him - he’s all yours. ENJOY. Last night, I wanted to wring his little neck because he did not listen to me AT ALL. I took him fishing to the usual spot but there were a bunch of other people there. I assumed he could share the pond and not disturb the other 15 people and kids that were fishing. I was wrong. I was that owner, screaming at her dumb dog, who wasn’t listening at all, taking the Styrofoam cups of worms and running around like an idiot, disturbing the peace. And I hate being that owner. There is really nothing more embarrassing. Expect maybe, being that mother.

Tomorrow is Friday. THANK CHRIST.

The day after that is Saturday. COME TO THE FARMERS MARKET! We really need your support. Tell your friends and family to stop by.

Right now is 3:30pm so I only have one more hour left to go.

Another co-worker I met at the picnic just happens to be BFF’s uncle. I knew he worked here but it’s a big place. Finally met him and he called her a ZOOMER. WTF?

I currently have to pee.

I currently no longer have to pee. THANKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Reason #938475946749058 why I love JCREW: Solid colored bathing suits. SOLID. OK? Me. No. Likey. Prints. I have a pink tube top bikini, a green halter style ruffle bikini, an aqua regular bikini and I just ordered online a black one. The only other bikinis I have are an orange plaid one that I swear to christ used to be BAGGY if you can believe that one. Now its like wearing lycra (this is the only one I own that’s not from JCEW, though, its AE). And a navy blue white polka dot bikini that is so Ralph Lauren/Michael Kors/All American that I just had to have it—pattern phobia be DAMNED! It’s a good thing I have all these bikinis. Esp since I have a use for a bathing suit by 5 times a year MAX. Rotate, my friends.

Today’s Casting Call REPEAT: WHO IS GOING TO THE BEACH WITH ME AND WHEN?