One day you're IN...

So it was inevitable. I had my first breakdown yest. And it happened at 5:25pm as I was walking out the door. One co-worker stopped me to see how things were going and she was like, It’s going to be overwhelming. But take everything in stride. It took your predecessor 1 year to learn the job. And I got teary. I didn’t cry, but tears started to well up. Sometimes, its when people are nice to me that I really lose it.

And when I stopped to think about being overwhelmed or something, I realized that that wasn’t my main prob. I can handle this job. I can do what needs to be done. I’ve done it all before and I’ve done it well. I'm not overwhelmed by the work or even the concepts that IDCE stands for. I really just missed my boss. I missed that comfort level and I missed being organized and knowing everything I needed to know. I guess you can take that for granted until it taken away from you.

Here's what I don’t like: Here, people, esp the professors, just talk too much. Everyone seems to be up my ass with mouthfuls of USELESS INFORMATION. And there are piles of disorganization all over the place that everyone seems to think is ok. I can handle that if you give me five minutes of space. I just need you to SHUTTHEFUCKUP and truncate what needs to be done. In essence, I'm on a need to know basis right now. I don’t care about the extraneous. Just cut it down to one sentence and I'll make it happen for you. I'll make it up if I have to but CHRIST just stop TALKING.

I forgot that professors have BAD BREATH. All of them. WTF. So pile that on with the EXTRANEOUS VERBAL DIAHHREA and there you have it.

I have a physicist on one end of the spectrum who cant spit out a full complete sentence and the retired lady who is training me in the job she created. SHE IS OUT OF CONTROL. Seriously. I have all I can do not to shove her head into my office window. Lady, stop TALKING and just sit down. She must be on Vivarin. Her expressions are all really animated too which drives me nuts. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not animated and actually, a lot of people cant read me. I’m pretty reserved. So working with the ANTI-CHRIST is hard.

I have caller ID on my WORK PHONE. Score.

I met my boss and finally had a sit down chat with him. And he gets it. And I get it. And I think we have the exact same DON’T BULLSHIT ME style. And that works. Esp since everyone else around us seems to be marching to the beat of their own drummer. Only glitch is that he’s on sabbatical next semester. Unscore.

I had 2 lunches for free and another one coming up on Monday. First one was with retired lady which sucked. And today my co-manager told me over lunch her last day is Dec 1. 2006? Um, yea.

Say it with me, folks… OK.

There is one bathroom per 73 staff and STUDENTS. Unscore.

I got a free Clark mug and canvas bag. Score.

I have to switch insurances. Unscore.

My work study is soooo cute and nice. She is really perfect for me because she gets that I am her boss, yet I have no clue what I’m doing and doesn’t know that. And that’s good. Because she cant blame me for anything. Score.

I am realizing that a lot of stuff I would have to do at my last job is stuff I am to pass onto the array of available work-study students. Photocopying? Nope. Typing? Nope. Website updating? Nope. Database management? Pass the buck.

So despite the mental breakdown yesterday, I think once I have this job under control, I can mold it to fit me and my strengths. I have done this in every job I've had. There is no reason to think I cant do that here. Just have to give it some time.

The anniversary story will have to wait. PEACE.