Tis the Season... to suck.

The thing that I’ve realized about my current job is that despite the fact that I LOVE it, I have no GUIDANCE at it. I’m kinda just floating on the surface of what a manager really does in this place, in this office, in this position. I don’t think I’m there yet. And it doesn’t help that the person who created the job and has come out of retirement to train me is still taking on my work and running with it. She all but grabbed a folder off my desk yesterday when I asked her for places to hold a reunion in DC… and I was like, LET ME PHOTOCOPY THAT FOR YOU. Thanks. Seriously! She grabbed it out of my hand and was going to plan it.

The thing that I’ve realized about my OLD job is that I don’t miss it. My old boss emailed me to come back to orient the new girl. I wrote her back this:

“I can try to come in Fri @ 8am if that works. The thing is, I have offered to come in to Amanda already and she has declined each time. When I talked to her about the fed grant and appeal, she said she knew what she was doing. I just want to be sure that this isn’t a waste of my time. I’m currently updating 250 pages of an old website and moving it into a new template. It’s a lot of work and I don’t want to add to my plate of things to do, unless you really need me.”

And I got back this:

“Friday would be great – I will plan on coming in early, so I can be here too. Within the database – we need help running labels and I’d also like you to go over how you update the donor conversion file and review the general rules for data entry into there. Mandi figured out how to run labels – but only in alpha order so far.”

Wouldn’t you know… I get there, after dragging my ass out of bed at 6:50am to be there for 8 and ask her where she wants me to start and she says…

“I’m not sure why Suzanne asked you here. I already know how to do it.”

But you know what? I’m billing that hour. Even though we talked mostly about the fact that Express has given up the tall inseam (Is this true because I didn’t know this and I shop there frequently?). The girl kinda made me feel like I was the idiot who took 2 years to know a job inside and out, whereas, she, oh holy one who has just graduated in MAY, knows it all in less than a month and a half.

In fact, being around folks with Ph.D.’s coming out of their asses makes one feel inadequate in a lot of ways. I don’t feel like I’m doing a great job right now at life, in general. In fact, I’ll just say it: I suck at life this week.

I just hate Fridays. I feel like it’s never going to end. And I’m slowly spiraling into depression because even though it’s warm out, it’s also humid and rainy and dark. And the frozen dinner from Kashi (cilantro shrimp and rice) was TERRIBLE so I’m starving.

Today’s shameless shout-out: Katie K. Where are you?

Today’s gift giving: Lenox.com is great. Tons of good stuff for the in-laws. And mom. I found the perfect ornament for my mom. PERFECTO. And I will give it to her when it comes in b/c she will want to enjoy it ASAP thru til the end of the day she dies. That’s how great this gift is. I have real confidence. Total order = $80+. Then I heard from a little birdie about the latest Sephora code: AMAZING4 and I got tons of samples for $50 – a gift for M in there and a gift for his sister too. Check. Just two very small things for yours truly. And the samples, of course are for me.

Today’s gift GETTING: a Christmas cactus from the departing office manager. LUVS IT.

Today’s failure: SAVING MONEY. (sigh)

Today’s success: spilling carnation instant breakfast all over my wrist and arm on the morning commute and not crying about it.